Friday, September 18, 2009

Giving to God - Lazy? Nah ...

At the study I was in on Tuesday, we were discussing the whole life-as-a-quilt idea (see previous post) and the question was posed, "At what points in your life were you actively involved in piecing the scraps together - and which were you not - and where are you now anyway?"

So - here's where I'm at right now.  I'm giving my scraps to God - The Master Quilter - and letting Him do what He will with them - because He ALWAYS gets it right.

I said this out loud at the study. 

One gal laughed and commented that if she were to just give her scraps to God, that would feel lazy to her.

I smile.  I totally understand how she's thinking here.  If giving your scraps to God meant that God would do all the work - all the planning, the snipping, the stitching FOR you - then, yes - that would be a rather "lazy" decision. 

However, for me - this is hard work.  God's been teaching me lately how to give Him my scraps - and I have, and I am.  But, this has proven to be anything but the lazy way to go about life.

My husband is an alcoholic.  Much of our marriage has been perfectly lovely and joyful, but much of it has been ugly and far from God's perfect plan for our lives, tainted by the effects of this disease.  I've tried for far too long to stitch all the pieces together all by myself - with a technique I've made up along the way - and though its not the BEST technique - it IS one that is familiar.  For me, the "lazy" way would be to continue on in this way.  To just roll with the present trajectory. 

I have already gained momentum - but my stitches unravel ever quicker, and I work harder and more frantically to maintain it all. 

Until, finally it completely falls apart.  Not a quilt at all - but just scraps again.  It would be easier to begin again as I'd begun before - to do what I know.

But God is teaching me - and I am learning.  Slowly - but learning.

I am lifting up my scraps to my Lord.  And He won't let me be lazy.  He won't do the work for me - but He'll show me - one step at a time. He IS showing me - showing me where the pieces belong - and how to put them together in a way that is pleasing to Him with a new stitch - and I just KNOW that the result will be a thing of beauty - far better than I could have ever planned it myself.

But doing things His way is not easy - does not permit me laziness.  I am working - and I am growing - and through this fire, I'll be refined.

One stitch at a time.

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