Monday, January 4, 2010

"Not Me" Goes Home for the Holidays!

Head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

I missed "not me" Monday last Monday because I was trekking across the state of Minnesota from my home in Wisconsin to visit my Mom and Dad on the farm I've called home for all my life (even now - I've been out of the house since 18 ... uh, that would be 17 YEARS - and I still say that I'm "going home" when I head to the farm!)

Ye Old Farmhouse - Herman, MN.

Anyhooooow ... I may not have been writing a "not me" Monday last Monday, but I was living one - that's for sure!!!

On this particular trip, the main characters are me ... I mean "not me", my 2 boy-ohs (TJ and XL), and my 2 doggies (Kota and Henry) - Jay was working all week, so we left my big, strong helper man behind.

The plan was to leave NO LATER than noon for the 4-hour trip, so it was "not me" who left an hour behind schedule - NO WAY ... I am ALWAYS on time (stop laughing, those who know "not me").

But if I had left an hour late, I would have surely buckled down and promptly arrived at the farm at 4pm ... yes, I would have ... so it was "NOT me" that rolled into the farm driveway at 7:30pm!!! 

It was "not me" who stopped at the outlet center 1/2-way for an HOUR and a HALF ... nuh-uh, I would not have done that ... I would have taken a quick 15-minute break and been on my way. 

It was "not me" who exited the car at said outlet center to discover that 1st-time traveler, Henry had gotten sick ALL over his kennel.  It was "not me" in the Burger King parking lot, removing dogs from kennels and handing leashes to boys, and yelling (yes, yelling), "BOYS!!!  Walk the dogs!  I've gotta clean out this stinky kennel!"    It was "not me" banging the dog kennel upside down in the snow - and it was "not me" wiping said kennel out with leftover fast food napkins and kleenexes.  Ugh!!!  Thank goodness, that was "NOT ME"!!!

But if it had been, I would surely have noted the lost time ... and hustled everyone back into the car for the drive ahead ... so it was "not me" who sat and had a coffee in BK while the boy-ohs played ... and it was "not me" who proceeded from BK to the furniture outlet, the Puma store, and the Claiborne store.  What kind of crazy choice would that be?!  Time's a tickin'!!!

But, if it had been me, then I would have beat a path straight to the farmhouse door!  So, it was "not me" who just ONE HOUR later, parked the salt-covered Suburban laden with boys, dogs, overnight bags, pillows, gifts ... and perhaps even the proverbial kitchen sink ... at the Target in Alexandria.

Of course, if it had been me, I would have just grabbed Dramamine (for Henry) and run straight back to the Sub.  I would NOT have wandered about for 20 minutes gathering additional groceries to share with Mom and Dad (although that would have been nice of me ...) before returning to the vehicle which was still running (but locked) with the dogs and boys inside.  No ... I would have been quick, quick, quick!!!

And because I would have been so quick, quick, quick, - it was "not me" who came back to the sub to discover that my 8-year-old had peed in a large McDonald's cup because he couldn't wait any longer for Mom to come back! 

But, IF that had happened, you would not have seen me toss the contents of the cup onto the snow-packed parking lot.  How gross!  No, I would have ... ummmmm ... well, I don't know WHAT I would have done, but it would not have been that!!!

After all this, of course, I went straight home where Mom and Dad were waiting for us with home-made scalloped potatoes and baked beans (the best EVER!!).  I'd have had no further problems, because ... really, what was left to go wrong?!?

Nothing, right?

So, because nothing else could go wrong, it was "not me" who (just 1/2 mile before the farm drive) slipped right into the snowy ditch and wedged my Sub into the snow bank right up to the headlights!  Ach!!  "Not me!"  I could not have handled one more thing ... so, SO GLAD that was "NOT ME"!

But, if it had been, I'd have called my Dad who would have called my Brother who would have driven from his home (1 short mile away) with his big old pick-up truck and towing rope ... and pulled me out ... and then, we'd all have FINALLY arrived at our destination.

HOME at last!

And ... of course ... if this whole story had been true ... I'd not have blogged about it all - or even have thought, "Cool!  Great "Not Me" Material!"

How ridiculous!  ;-)

Grandma Gay and Tobey - AT the farm!

Grandpa Gordon and Xander - AT the farm!


  1. Thanks for dropping by. I got you entered. :) Happy Monday!

  2. I'm so glad your 8 year old did NOT pee in a cup . . .that is HILARIOUS and quite ingenious of him really--glad he didn't just pee his pants :)
    Sounds like a rough day--but how great to be greeted by your family at the end of it :)

  3. Oh my goodness!!! When were you at St. Bens?!!! I graduated in '99...and the commenter above? The adorable Unkept Cook? She was my roommate!

    Craziness! What a small world! And, Hello Albertville Outlet Mall...oh, how I love you so.


  4. LOL. I'd definitely say that was a Not Me trip if there ever was one.

  5. Outlet malls are DANGEROUS. Honestly, I can't even go to one unless I know I have an extra $100 to spend, because I have very little willpower with my shopping habits!

    By the way, where did you get that cute little top you're wearing in your "me" picture on the sidebar? That is adorable... I must have one!

    Confessions From A Working Mom

  6. Wow, what an ordeal! Good thing none of that happened to you ;)

    Looks like a nice place to spend some time!

  7. Now this is the best Not Me post I've read yet. I certainly wouldn't have done all of that either. Glad you didn't.

  8. Looks like you had a great time, after all...the pics look good! Isn't it funny, when you do something bad/exceptionally well, it's "Wow! This will make a great illustration for SAMmy's!" and when something goes wrong, it's "Wow! This will be great material for NMM!"? Ha!


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